The Parable Of The Miracle Of Sriracha

Did you hear about The Miracle of Sriracha?

It is reported to have occurred just this past weekend in New York City. More than a dozen witnesses have corroborated the story, though their identities must remain anonymous for the sanctity of the miraculous event. It's said to have been of biblical proportions. We believe it to be true, but you can judge for yourselves…

It all started in Chinatown last Saturday around 11am. In the middle of the usual hustle and bustle of dim sum prime time, a very well dressed young lady walked into the one of Chinatown’s most authentic dim sum restaurants. And by authentic, we mean the ones with the older ladies pushing around hot carts through the dining room.

Well, the young lady was promptly seated at a communal table. And according to eyewitnesses she summoned one server after another, picking an array of dishes from their carts as they passed. At one point there were seventeen different plates in front her! Only then did she beckon a waiter and ask for Sriracha. What a goddess!

But she was horrified to be told there was no Sriracha in the house, and only some “chili oil” if she wanted it. Now, we all know those obligatory pots of chili oil in Chinatown have been there since the beginning of time.

“No thank you. I brought my own Sriracha just in case," she said to the waiter.

And with that, the Goddess of Sriracha pulled out her Sriracha2Go keychain, filled with 1.7 ounces of Huy Fong goodness. There are several eyewitness accounts claiming that at that very moment, the heavens opened up right then and there above her. Though restaurant management claims that the curtains were opened in the main dining hall around 11:35am. But we choose to believe that there was indeed a divine power at play. For we must believe.

Because it is said, that once The Goddess flipped that tab open and squeezed that Sriracha on her plate, all those around her froze. It was like manna from the gods for the rest of the patrons. One by one, they stood up from their chairs and made their pilgrimage to her table. She graciously squeezed a dollop of Sriracha onto each plate extended before her. Every last person in that restaurant was blessed with Sriracha that day. And they carried on with the rest of their meal, enjoying their dim sum with Sriracha. Lives were changed. Souls were saved.

But do you know just how many mouths were Sriracha'd that day? 5,000. Miraculous, no?

And the truly miraculous part is still to come...

Every eyewitness that has come forward tells us that the Sriracha bottle belonging to The Goddess remained FULL, even after 5,000 squeezes. Full! If that’s not a miracle, then what is?

Were you one of those chosen ones to witness The Miracle of Sriracha? Maybe someone you know was there last Saturday? If not, no biggie, we still ask you to share with us your holiest moment involving Sriracha. And we challenge you to open your heart and soul and personal Sriracha2Go keychain bottle, the next time you’re at your favorite dim sum restaurant.

See how far it takes you!